


Replaced

by AliceParrilla18



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 7x01/7x02, Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Family, Hurt, Oneshot, Philinda - Freeform, philindaisy, season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24529384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceParrilla18/pseuds/AliceParrilla18
Summary: "Her heart started to beat faster when she realized how much everything had changed. How much they have changed."
Relationships: Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	Replaced

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is just a quick one shot taking place on episodes 7x01 and propably 7x02. It's just my vision of May's reaction to seeing lmdCoulson, someone who's not her Phil one more time, based on the last scene of the first episode. It's sad and full of emotions, might also get a little messy, cause it took me only an hour to write.   
> English is not my main language, so I'm sorry for mistakes. I'll be grateful for every comment. Hope you'll like it. Enjoy!

_You’re right. It’s love. The pain is love._

When Melinda opened her eyes, she saw nothing. Returning memories began to attack her from every possible side and force her to experience the same horror once again.

_And now I know how to end it._

Horror, pain, the metallic smell of blood, the sight of its drops falling to the ground, the touch of the monster on her body, his breath on her face. It was all so clear in her mind as if it had never really disappeared.

How long can you die? Is that what her hell was supposed to look like? Going through that again and again? Being stucked in an eternal loop that cannot be broken?

So be it, she deserved it. It was because of her own stupidity that she ended up here. She should have known better, she should have _been_ better. She objected to her own rules and let down the wall she had been building for so many years, although she knew perfectly well that happiness was not written for her, that someone like her could feel nothing else but suffering. Why did she become so naive?

She knew the answer to that question too well. She also knew that what she had told her murderer wasn’t true and that at that moment _he_ was the one who was right.

Love was a plague that had to be removed.

_To cut it out of me. Slice it away, and be done with it._

Suddenly everything disappeared, and everything around her was peaceful and quiet. When she blinked, she regained her sight. She saw herself, her pale face and dark circles under her eyes, which had never seemed so dark and empty before. She moved her head slightly, and the person in front of her did the same. She reached out to touch them, but her fingers found an obstacle and stopped in place. She ran them over the smooth surface until her hands clasped on both her sides again. Only then did she realize that what she saw in front of her was her reflection, and she was locked in a very small place without a way out, like an animal in a circus cage.

Just like after her memories, there was no sign of the pain stabbing every cell in her body. Instead of fear, she felt anger. She had to get out of here.

And cut herself off from what killed her once again.

*

"Tell us again what exactly happened, Enoch."

"I went to check agent May's parameters and give her another dose of the medicine, but she wasn't in the tube or anywhere near. Her clothes also disappeared. Then I decided to come here and let you know about the situation."

Daisy shook her head in disbelief. They already had time travel and rescue of S.H.I.E.L.D. to worry about, a wounded agent wandering around the plane wasn’t helping them at all.

"Jemma, you said May won't wake up in a week," Elena said, crossing her arms at her chest. "And that we can trust Enoch with her."

"That’s because we can, I knew exactly what was happening to her all the time," the biochemist answered. She reached for the tablet on which the last results of the vital signs of the older woman were showed, frowning. "Everything was normal until she disappeared. The treatment process was correct, which means that she should be in a coma for at least a few more days."

"So what happened?" Daisy asked.

"I don’t know. Even if she had somehow woken up earlier, she shouldn’t be able to sit up. Her wound is not yet completely healed."

"And yet she got up, got out, dressed up and hid, so that no one can find her now."

Nobody said anything, what was an answer itself. They screw up on every possible front. They should be focusing on their next steps, on Malick's father and a plan to bring everything back to normal. They should be solving problems, not create new ones, especially when they were still moving in the dark. It was overwhelming them all.

"So, what do we do?"

Daisy sighed deeply and looked at Coulson. In his suit and with a few small wrinkles on his forehead, he looked exactly as she remembered him. As she wanted to remember him after his death. She didn’t know what she should feel now, when he was still with them and as always worrying about everyone but himself. There was too much happening to think about it calmly. For now she was driven by adrenaline, she’ll worry about her feelings later.

"Simmons, are the cameras still working?"

"Some of them. But if May had already figured out where she is, she’ll be avoiding them. She knows these planes better than any of us."

"So we'll split up and look for her ourselves. She’s hurt and confused. We have to find her before she can hurt herself even more."

*

They formed pairs and went for the search all over the deck. When they still didn’t find her after fifteen minutes, Daisy began to worry seriously. Damn it, the plane wasn't that big. How long could she hide from them?

Walking down the darkened corridor, she glanced at Coulson again. He was deep in his thoughs. Even without looking at him, she knew what was on his mind. He didn’t know everything about what happened to May in the temple, Jemma only gave him basic information. He didn’t know exactly what his last days looked like or how his death affected her. Still, he was worried about her like the others. Daisy wasn't going to reveal the details to him, she felt that she wasn't the one who should do it. Besides, sometimes it was better for a person not to know. Or a robot, at that matter.

She smiled to herself. Maybe there was more of Coulson in him than she had thought at first. She wanted it to be this way.

"May," he whispered, stopping suddenly and pulling them both out of their thoughts.

Daisy followed his gaze and saw the shape of her figure in the dark corner of the corridor. The woman took a step toward them, and the glow of the light bulb gently lighted up her face.

"Oh God, May," Daisy breathed a sigh of relief and started coming closer to her. "We were so worried about you, is everything…"

Something in her gaze made her stop immediately and freeze.

May was looking straight at Coulson, and her face, usually so calm, was expressing so much emotion at once that it was difficult to focus on one. Daisy cursed under her breath. She couldn't even imagine what Melinda must have been going through right now. She must have felt afraid and betrayed, once again looking at someone who looked like the love of her life. Everyone has experienced it once, but she was the one who got hit the most. She allowed herself to believe this one time, only to get her heart, her soul, broken into millions of tiny pieces that no one was able to put back together. The world again put her to the test that she couldn't manage this time.

"That’s…" the woman whispered, but words got stuck in her throat. Coulson said nothing, looking at her with a combination of love, regret and guilt.

"May, please. Let me explain."

When Melinda moved her gaze at her in a split second, Daisy forgot how to breathe for a moment. Now there was only one thing in the woman's eyes. Unbridled rage.

Before Daisy could even think about what was happening, May started running at them with her fists. She jumped up and kicked Coulson so hard that he flew away a few meters away and hit the wall. Daisy moved away a few steps, keeping her hands up. She had no intention of fighting her, she was already hurt. May, though, as if she hadn’t almost lost all of her blood just a few hours ago, seemed to go crazy. She didn't seem to recognize Daisy when she tried to hit her. Or maybe she did, but decided that just like the next version of Coulson, she was a threat to her. She wasn’t thinking soberly, the survival instinct took control over her.

Daisy bent down, avoiding the impact, but when she got up again, May surprised her and grabbed her from behind, squeezing her throat. Daisy struggled for breath, trying to break free. She won't hit her. She won't use her power on her. After that one time when she did to take her down all those years ago, she swore she would never do it again. She intended to keep that promise, even if May was now a threat not only to herself.

Suddenly the pressure disappeared, and Daisy could breathe again. She got dizzy and fell to her knees, coughing.

"Easy, it’s okay," she heard Coulson’s voice. "Everything’s going to be alright. Shh, it’s okay. I’m sorry, I’m sorry."

When she looked up, she understood that his words weren’t directed at her. He was standing still, holding May in exactly the same way she was holding Daisy a few seconds ago, clenching his fingers around her neck to cut off the air from her lungs and knock her out. He kept his eyes up, not looking at May struggling in his arms. His grip on her throat was much stronger than hers. She was hurt and scared, she had no chance to break free.

At that moment, May was crying completely, and her sobs were mixing with desperate attempts to catch her breath. Daisy had never seen her cry so hard and so loudly, so... visible. She had never seen her so vulnerable. She knew that the sight would burn itself into her mind and remain in it forever, no matter with how good memories she’d try to cover it.

Her heart started to beat faster when she realized how much everything had changed. How much _they_ have changed.

On the one hand, May was the way she was before Daisy got to know her better. Mysterious, full of secrets and suffering in silence. Maybe even a little scary. Seeing her now, she was nothing like her former self, even though she was also hurting. It was, however, a different kind of pain, one that was destroying everything on its path, leaving no hope behind. It was her second Bahrain, and the first one had already completely destroyed her. She was different and Daisy knew they couldn't change it this time.

And Coulson? Although she wanted to believe so badly that this time it would be different, that fate couldn’t be so cruel twice and that they got another chance to be a family again, she knew it wasn’t true. It wasn't him, though he reminded him so much. He used exactly the same grip as May, they had gone through the same training after all. But he wasn't with her at the academy, he wasn't with her through Bahrain's hell, he wasn't with her when she needed him the most. He looked the same, he spoke the same, he behaved the same, but there wasn't this little something in his eyes that made him himself. Because he wasn’t him, and will never be the Phil Coulson she knew and loved like a father. She was sure of that now.

Their Phil Coulson, _the real_ Phil Coulson, would never raise his hand at Melinda May, no matter how difficult the situation they found themselves in would be. _Never_.

It is a pity that she understood that they couldn’t get him back so late, and that the shapeshifting stranger had to almost kill her mother-figure, the only family she had left, to help her see it.

Coulson and May, the two most important people in her life, have disappeared. They broke down and left. Death took tchem away, and though their bodies were still there, Daisy knew they wouldn’t return. They were only humans, and the cruel world they had to live in destroyed them. They left, leaving her alone. They were gone. They got replaced by complete strangers.

May’s heartbreaking cry stopped. Daisy could hear Coulson whispering in her ear "I’m sorry" over and over again, sliding down to the ground with her limp body in his arms. May's head tilted to the side.

Daisy could feel the tears running down her cheeks. She never felt more helpless and lonely than at that moment.

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Happy AoS Day!


End file.
